Who Needs Love?
by GoodLeftUndone
Summary: The Beatles say "All You Need is Love". That's not true. Love doesn't even -exist-. Sirius with OC but definitely not romance. Response to TeenageVampira's V-Day challenge. Rated M for lots and lots of coarse language.


Sirius Black is easily distracted. Sirius Black is not even remotely catlike. Sirius Black is popular. Sirius Black is a Marauder. Sirius Black is an athlete. Sirius Black gets good grades with ease. Sirius Black can get any girl he wants. Sirius Black is fucking rich.

Sirius Black's life seems fucking perfect. And I'm jealous. I hear that his home life is pretty fucked, but so is mine. But his school life is fucking fantastic, and mine is anything but.

Professors hate me, ninety percent of the student body hate me, and to top it all off, everyone, especially the Marauders, and some of my own friends, think I'm fucked up for hating the Beatles and The Rolling Stones, and that whole love, sex, and drugs movement. I am fucked, but not because I don't like the Beatles. Give me the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, or something that's actually remotely real. Love and all that shit? It isn't real. Yeah, people say that they're in love, but then they go and fucking argue with each other, fucking beating on each other, and fucking make everyone's life miserable, their own, and their children's. If love were real, like the fucking Beatles fucking preach, that wouldn't happen. Love is all you need, they say. They're wrong.

It's just this philosophy of mine that got me detention earlier today. Love potions. Love fucking potions. I usually like Potions, but when it's Valentine's Day and we're talking about Love Potions, I'm pissed.

"No potion can recreate love," miss perfect little ginger Lily Evans said. Slughorn nodded.

"You're right," I said, without raising my hand. "There's no potion that can recreate love because love is some fucked up notion. It's not real. There's no fucking love. There's lust, there's attraction, yeah, but not love. Love's some fucking fantasy that fucking druggies sing about. And then they go and get fucking high and fuck each other, saying it's love when it's not."

The whole class acted as if this were some awful blasphemy. Well, it wasn't.

"Miss McIllrath…" Slughorn began, but I cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah. Fifty points from Gryffindor, detention, go see Dumbledore, I get the gist."

Slughorn nodded. "Tonight at seven. And Twenty-five points from Gryffindor, instead of fifty. It's a holiday."

"Eh, those four will get at least twenty-five points taken by the end of the day, anyway. Potter will hex Snape as per usual…"

There were outcries from Potter, Black, and Snape.

"Black will snog some girl and get caught by fucking McGonagall, who has zero tolerance for that shit."

Black only smirked.

"Pettigrew will do something incredibly stupid upon the bidding of his idiot friends…"

Now all four of them were yelling at me.

"And," I continued raising my voice above theirs, "Lupin will maul someone for their chocolate."

"Miss McIllrath."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to Dumbledore. Before I go… fuck love, go anarchy!"

I left the room, smirking. Stirring up controversy was a lot of fun. I didn't go to Dumbledore. Slughorn had to have known that I wouldn't, but no one came after me. I was half-tempted to write "FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY" on the wall in fake blood, but I knew I'd get caught. I will give the Marauders this: they've got stealth down. So instead of getting caught by Filch, I visited Myrtle.

Myrtle and I get along well. So she's a creepy ghost that haunts a bathroom… she had wanted vengeance in her lifetime, too. (She even told me the story about how she haunted the girl who made fun of her after she died, and I thought that was brilliant, and I sympathized with her over getting the restraining order put on her.) I'd haunt someone, yeah… but I wouldn't kill someone. That's low, and I have no intentions of ever going to that fucking prison called Azkaban. That's like hell on earth, and to go there just for getting vengeance makes the vengeance less worth it. That's not to say that I'm above pranking on people like Black… I'm not. I got back at them for everything they did to me for the first few years of school until they were finally smart enough to stop.

Myrtle agreed with me, though. It was a shame that I got detention.

"I never liked Slughorn, Vi," she said, "he was always favoring Olive Hornby, and he thought that blowing up my potions were all accidents!" she giggled.

We talked for a while until I checked the clock. It's almost time for my detention, and I figure that Slughorn would know where I'm supposed to go. I say goodbye to Myrtle, and begin walking towards Slughorn's classroom. I pause just outside. I could skip detention, I know that, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to endure the repercussions. So I go down to his classroom in the dungeons and freeze upon seeing Black.

"Black."

"McIllrath." He smirks cockily at me and I flip him off.

"Now, now, McIllrath, that's not very nice."

"And you're a good judge of that?" I fire back. "Just piss off and stop pissing me off before I do something we'll both regret."

"Now that wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Black if you think that I mean sex, I will do this fucking world a favor and render you fucking incapable of spawning." I glare darkly at him, but he still smirks.

"You've never had sex, have you?"

"That's none of your fucking business, Black, and if you don't fucking shut the fuck up right this fucking second, I swear that I will fucking kill you, fuck Azkaban."

"So no?" He's still smirking and I decide to follow through on my first threat.

I raise my wand at him, curse ready when Slughorn enters.

"Mr. Black, Miss McIllrath, you will be serving detention with Hagrid."

"Great, we'll be abandoned in the forest. Black, it's your lucky day, there won't be any witnesses."

He starts to look afraid.

"No, no. Miss McIllrath, you won't be going into the forest."

"What?" I ask, lowering my wand away from Black a little.

"You'll be sorting out some equipment for Professor Kettleburn in his hut."

I groan. Black smirks.

I'm not going to like this at all.

--

_Note- A response to TeenageVampira's V-Day challenge. Marauders valentine's day. Check out her profile. She's linked to on my profile as Katy. Read and Review._

_Disclaimer: …I obviously don't own Harry Potter. All I own is Vi McIllrath._


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